My first reaction to the query of can you kill someone with a dildo was an incredulous “WHAT?” I remember laughing uncontrollably for a few seconds because for me, the thought of a dildo being lethal was really amusing. So let me start from the beginning.

A few friends and I were discussing weapons of mass destruction one evening, and this friend of mine went on about how a dildo can be used to kill somebody. He wasn’t referring to a real one, of course, only the toy Dildos which are for people’s pleasure. We all laughed at first, but the more he explained, the more it started to make sense.

He told us that the biggest danger of using a dildo for some lethal purpose is that it might be misinterpreted. If one person were to use one as a bludgeon, he must be careful not to cause permanent harm or even death. It might not be enough to convince a judge in court and convincing the jury in such a situation isn’t going to be easy.

So naturally, I asked him for proof that it’s indeed possible–after all, his claims were a bit outrageous. He was more than happy to prove his point with several examples, and to my surprise, his facts were pretty strong.

It turns out that if you were to take two dildos and attach them together back to back, you’d have something that resembles a baton. This could, in theory, be used to inflict heavy blows on someone in the same way a police baton would. In this case, the rigidness of the toy dildo could indeed cause some serious damage–severe enough to rap a person’s skull.

I then went on to research this further, and I came across some more shocking information. Apparently, there have been people who have been arrested–and even given prison sentences–for murdering someone with a toy dildo. One such example is the case of a 28-year-old man who was sentenced to almost 15 years imprisonment in 2020, after he’d killed a friend with a toy dildo.

I started to rethink my initial reaction to the question. Can you kill someone with a dildo? Maybe. But whether you will be able to is another matter. As outrageous as it may seem, it is possible–and in the wrong hands, extremely deadly.

Next, I decided to look into the effects of using a toy dildo as a defense weapon and not an offensive one. I discovered that it is possible to use a toy dildo for self-defense. If you are in a dangerous situation and need to hit something fast and hard, it will do the job. The toy is relatively easy to handle and lightweight, so it won’t cause a lot of problems.

But there is a caveat. Soon enough, I realized that toy dildos can’t be used for sex dolls self-defense against multiple attackers. In that case, the chances of it being used against you are higher, and the chances of your attacker counterfeiting your moves with their own dildo are also greater.

It is advisable to only use a toy dildo in self-defense when the situation demands it–for instance, if you’re being chased by a single person who is armed or otherwise dangerous. In such situations, the toy dildo could be used to defend yourself. But be warned–play it safe and don’t let it turn into a game of death, or else you could be the one who ends up getting killed.

After some more research, I learnt that toy dildos have been used in various other ways over the years–some creative and some downright unnerving. There have been cases of dildos being used as a weapon of intimidation in robberies, or being zapped with electricity to create something similar to a taser. The latter hasn’t had great success, though.

Looking at all this, I took a few deep breaths and rested my case. Maybe a toy dildo can be used for certain activities, and it’s even possible to inflict fatal wounds with it. In the wrong circumstances, it can be a deadly weapon. Yet I can’t help but feel that it was a bit exaggerated – after all, the chances of getting killed by a toy dildo are slim to none.